Medication is a topic that's come up a lot in the last few months, and I wanted to put my thoughts to paper. A lot of people have been wondering if it's time for them to try anti-depressants, and my thought is this: it's okay to try. You're allowed to ask for help. Doing so doesn't mean you're "giving up" and it definitely doesn't mean you failed.
A little bit of history: As a feminist therapist I've often tried to help look for the broader contextual reasons that people are feeling depressed (traumatic experiences from the past, current job situations, difficult relationships, state of the world, etc). In traditional therapies, this has sometimes been overlooked. Instead, psychologists of the past have honed in too much on the individual and forgotten the broader social context we live in. Way too many people (women and marginalized individuals particularly) were left feeling as though how they were responding to unjust situations was somehow wrong, or pathological.
At the same time, addressing the social context is just one way of working with depression. Since it's typically been an overlooked area, it's one that I as a feminist therapist tend to focus on. But there are also other, totally important management strategies that we can still use for depression. Medication can be one of those strategies some people use part of managing their depression. I also think it's important to say that trying medication is totally valid EVEN IF depression can be traced back to contextual factors. It might be that thing to help someone get out of bed in the morning and be able to do all the other things they know help them.
It's not the right fit for everyone, and I know it's important that it's part of a bigger depression management plan, but let's start here: it's okay to try.
ps. Let's be super clear: I'm not a doctor! I can't give medical advice and I get no benefit at all from pharmaceutical companies, which is why I didn't name any. If you're curious about medication, please talk to an actual doctor. One that you trust. And make sure they know about any other substances you're taking including over the counter, naturopathic stuff, and any other drugs you might use.
Someone read all of the above thinking I wrote “meditation”, and hey, it still fits! So, there ya go. Meditation and mindfulness practices don’t have to be done in a particular way, in a particular place, or in a particular style. It’s mostly about bringing our attention to the present moment, without judgment. There’s a ton of research these days on the psychological benefits of meditation and mindfulness practices, giving us reason to think that this might benefit a lot of people. It doesn’t have to be your “go to”, but it’s okay to give it a try. It’s okay to give it a try at different times in your life, in different ways, with different people. If you want to.
Take a Break From Work
You're also allowed to take a break from work. Around these parts we call this "stress leave", and my thought? We have stress leave set up for a reason. That reason is so that we can use it when needed. I watch waaaayyyy too many people wait too long to step back from work and by the time they do, they're completely burnt out that even getting out of bed is difficult. At that point, it takes months and months and months to recover, let alone feel rejuvenated and do the healing work that's needed and think about new boundaries going back into work. If you're overwhelmed enough that you're thinking about taking stress leave, chances are you need it. I encourage you talk more to your doctor or mental health professional about your options!
ps. Not sure if I need to say this but what I'm sharing here is not intended to replace the medical advice of your doctor or healthcare provider. Seriously. Go talk to them!
This one may just seem like a plug for my own services, but that’s not my intention. The reason I wanted to include it is that it’s not uncommon in my office for clients to show up and feel bad for “using up my time”. So, I’ll make it clear. You’re not taking a spot from anyone else. I fully consented to being here. I’m 100% okay with doing it. And, I actually appreciate the opportunity to walk through life with you.
People sometimes worry that their problems aren’t bad enough for them to go to therapy. So I’ll be honest: I’m not a fan of waiting until it gets bad enough, if we can help it. Another way to think about it is there’s always going to be someone with “bigger problems”, and it doesn’t serve us to get into the comparison trap. We can recognize our privilege and acknowledge the gifts we’ve been given without dismissing our own pain and hurt.
So here’s my big message here, one more time: you’re allowed. You’re allowed to do the things. You can give yourself the nourishment you need and know that’s not selfish or indulgent. That’s doing the work.
So I don’t know how many of you have seen a counselor, or if you ever wonder what goes on in the world of a psychologist OUTSIDE the therapy room (“do they really do all the meditating they’re telling me is so beneficial?”) but I’ve got a little bit of insight that I’d like to share with you. I have noticed that in psychology, self care gets talked about a lot… but similar to other helping fields, the actual practice of putting ourselves as a priority is not so good. There’s a lot of TALK about work-life balance, but the structural systems within the workplace – be it nonprofit or private practice – make it really hard to actually have balance. Now, in my early 20s, I was excited enough about the work, and energetic enough, that I could “buckle down and push through”. But by the time I turned 27 – not that old – the effect of “pushing through” was starting to wear on me.
"I can be so caring to my friends, my family, to anyone who needs it... but me? I don't deserve it..."
I hear this kind of sentiment time and time again from clients. The idea of self-care is nice, and they agree with the theory of honoring our own needs... but as an actual practice? Well, that's for other people. I mean, who am I to take up space, to have a voice, to need a break sometimes? If I really allow myself that, isn't it indulgent? What if it takes support from someone else who needs it more?
Nicole Perry is a Registered Psychologist and writer with a private practice in Edmonton. Her approach is collaborative and feminist at its heart. She specializes in healing
About the Blog
This space will provide information, stories, and answers to big questions about some of my favorite topics - boundaries, burnout, trauma, self compassion, and shame resilience - all from a feminist counselling perspective. It's also a space I'm exploring and refining new ideas.