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This Feminist Therapist

Writing about mental health from a feminist counselling perspective

#10: Pain and Self-Compassion

4/25/2017

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Those of you who read my post last week know a little bit about a difficult experience I had a few years ago when I was dealing with migraines. For those of you who haven’t read it, I shared that I had been in the habit of taking on more and more until my body finally said “stop”. The chronic stress I’d been dealing with over the years, along with the acute stress of a difficult work situation, was too much for my body to handle, and it progressed to a point where I was dealing with high intensity pain on a daily basis. And that went on for a year.

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#9: When my body finally said "stop"

4/18/2017

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So I don’t know how many of you have seen a counselor, or if you ever wonder what goes on in the world of a psychologist OUTSIDE the therapy room (“do they really do all the meditating they’re telling me is so beneficial?”) but I’ve got a little bit of insight that I’d like to share with you. I have noticed that in psychology, self care gets talked about a lot… but similar to other helping fields, the actual practice of putting ourselves as a priority is not so good. There’s a lot of TALK about work-life balance, but the structural systems within the workplace – be it nonprofit or private practice – make it really hard to actually have balance. Now, in my early 20s, I was excited enough about the work, and energetic enough, that I could “buckle down and push through”. But by the time I turned 27 – not that old – the effect of “pushing through” was starting to wear on me.

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#8: Are you "too open" with your boundaries?

4/11/2017

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One thing I've come to realize over the years is that, contrary to popular belief, everyone has boundaries. Stick with me - I know it's so common to feel that if you're a people pleaser, it means you have "no boundaries". So let's get really clear. Boundaries are your own unique sense of what’s okay for you and what isn’t. It’s your internal understanding of what nourishes you and what doesn’t. We all have that understanding inside of us. We all have limits. What commonly happens is that over the years that we lose touch with our boundaries, or we learn that they're not important. So, with that in mind, when you start working on your own boundaries, what you're really doing is  learning to listen to and respect your own limits.

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April's Book of the Month: The Willpower Instinct

4/10/2017

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It will come as no surprise to almost anyone I've talked to in the last month that I've chosen "The Willpower Instinct" by Kelly McGonigal as April's book of the month.

For years, I've struggled with how to find motivation on those days where I just don't feel like doing anything, and likewise how to help clients who are struggling with motivation. Healing childhood wounds? I got this. Trying to get your body moving more? Totally stuck. I think this is why I'm so into this book. It offers practical, research-based ideas for something that clearly so many of us struggle with. Did you know that there are certain things you can do to actually boost your motivation? I didn't. One of my favorites is "5 minutes of green exercise" - which basically involves just 5 minutes of moving your body outside (gardening, walking the dog, hiking, going to the mailbox... really anything that doesn't involve sitting or standing still).

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#7: Self Care: A Feminist Counselling Primer

4/4/2017

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"I can be so caring to my friends, my family, to anyone who needs it... but me? I don't deserve it..."
I hear this kind of sentiment time and time again from clients. The idea of self-care is nice, and they agree with the theory of honoring our own needs... but as an actual practice? Well, that's for other people. I mean, who am I to take up space, to have a voice, to need a break sometimes? If I really allow myself that, isn't it indulgent? What if it takes support from someone else who needs it more?

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    Author

    Nicole Perry is a Registered Psychologist and writer with a private practice in Edmonton. Her approach is collaborative and feminist at its heart. She specializes in healing trauma, building shame resilience, and setting boundaries.

    About the Blog

    This space will provide information, stories, and answers to big questions about some of my favorite topics - boundaries, burnout, trauma, self compassion, and shame resilience - all from a feminist counselling perspective. It's also a space I'm exploring and refining new ideas.

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  • HOME
  • ABOUT
  • Groups
    • Boundaries, Burnout, & The Art of Saying No
    • Never Good Enough: Moving from Shame to Self-Acceptance
  • Workshops and Courses
    • Big Hearted Boundaries
    • How to Prevent Burnout
    • Shame Resilience Skills
    • Other Workshops & Courses
  • Resources
    • Articles & Podcasts
    • Setting better boundaries: Downloadable handouts
    • Videos
    • Other Feminist Counsellors in Edmonton
  • Supervision
  • CONNECT WITH ME
  • Blog